Our 7 tips for travelling as a gay couple in countries that do not always accept us

The law tells you what is officially allowed. What it almost never tells you is how people actually react in everyday life.

A country can look very open on paper and still feel socially tense once you are there. The opposite also exists. What matters most is the atmosphere on the ground: the street, the hotel, the way people look at you, the small signals you pick up without even trying. No legal article can really tell you that. So look at the culture as much as the law, because that is what shapes the trip you will actually live.

It is the reflex we think about the least, and often one of the most useful. Before entering certain countries, we switched our personal Instagram accounts to private. If you share a lot online, ask yourself what people can see, where they can find you, and whether every post really needs to be geotagged.

We even blocked access to our site from a few countries where LGBTQ+ content could have created unnecessary complications. Your online visibility is not a proof of courage or authenticity. It is a setting. And settings can be changed when the context asks for it.

No photo, Reel, story or perfect shot is worth putting yourself in an uncomfortable or unsafe situation. The best travel memories are the ones you actually live, not the ones you force yourself to film at any cost.

When a place does not feel right for that, we put the phone away. And honestly, we have never regretted a photo we did not take because we chose to feel calm instead.

Friends, local LGBTQ+ communities and other travellers almost always give better advice than a generic travel guide. People on the ground can tell you in five minutes what an article may never quite explain: which area feels easier, which hotel was respectful, what time of day is better, what to avoid without making a drama of it.

Try to find those voices before you go. And if we have already visited the country you are wondering about, write to us. We always try to answer honestly.

For us, that has sometimes meant choosing an international hotel chain or a private villa: somewhere we could breathe, relax and stop calculating every tiny gesture. International brands often have clearer policies and better-trained staff, which removes one uncertainty from the trip.

And even when you have booked a double bed, it is not always guaranteed in practice. A short confirmation the day before can save an awkward moment at check-in. It is not paranoia. It is just making the arrival easier for yourself.

Being a little more discreet for a while is not the same as hiding. And not every uncomfortable moment has to be about being gay. Sometimes it is modesty, religion, a social rule that applies to everyone, including straight couples. If you read every form of reserve as hostility, you can end up spoiling your own experience for no reason.

Respect the place for what it is, without letting it erase you. The balance is personal, and it changes from one destination to another.

If a situation does not feel right, you do not have to prove anything to anyone. You can leave, change plans, come back another day, or simply decide that this place is not for you.

Listening to your instinct is not fear. It is intelligence. And if you are honest with yourself, it has probably saved you more often than it has misled you.